Wanna know the deep, dark secret to increasing your Twitter followers that everyone talks about?

Just start following one of the online marketing people with like 50,000 followers.

I’m serious.

I made the mistake of accepting a follow from one, I don’t even really remember who. And ever since then, my twitter numbers have skyrocketed. I think I had 50 new people in a day. Sure it’s not the 1,000 people a day that those crazy viral tweet scams products promise but I was a bit wowed by the sudden onslaught of people desperate to be my friend.

It would be fantastic to have 50,000 followers! Shoot, I’d be happy with 1,000! I’d love that feeling of knowing that 1,000 people are reading my tweets and coming to my site simply because I am directing them to. Oh, the power!

Not really sure how I would find time to read all their tweets and hit up their sites in return though. I can barely keep up with the 160 people I follow as it is. How do those people with 30,000, or 50,000 or even just 10,000 followers find the time to read all their followers tweets? Is that why they are called “Social Media Experts?” Because they can actually interact with 50,000 people a day?

But that’s just it. They’re not interacting with everyone. They aren’t reading my tweets or coming to my site. Out of those 50 new people, how many are actually following me because I add something to their lives? Because I provide a service for them that they appreciate and want to learn more about? Or because they find me cute, funny, entertaining, sassy, spunky, adorable, hot or…..you know, all the above!

I’m going to go with maybe 5 tweeters and that’s only because two of those people I actually know in real life and I’m giving the benefit of the doubt to the other three.

So really, what’s the point? I’m not really sure I’m cut out for business because I just don’t believe in the quantity over quality theory. Call me crazy but I’d rather have someone come and read my blog that I worked so hard to write then someone read my tweets. Although, yes, sometimes it does take a while to figure out how to put my thoughts into only 140 characters.

I’m just not that into the whole gathering twitter followers like they are Coach bags. Or Manolos. Or collectible Pez.

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When I first started blogging, I used a networking place called Entrecard. At first I loved the system. I loved going out and reading other people’s sites and “dropping my card” on their sites—hoping they would come drop on mine too. It’s like, Networking for beginners. Teaches you how to do the whole give and take thing. You comment, I comment. You drop card, I drop card….

But, after about a month or so, I realized that my followers, for the most part, were just about quantity, not quality. Yes, I found some great friends on there (Quarter Life Lady, Daisy the Curly Cat, and LezzyMom ,just to name a few) that I still visit every day. But, really, most of the people weren’t coming to read my site or to learn anything from me. Nor were they really providing any key feedback. They would come, drop their card and peace out.

How do I know that for sure? Well, analytics for one, because it told me how long people stayed. But I also know because I found myself doing the same thing to these people. I had no interest in their sites or topics either, but I went by and dropped my card because they came to me too. So, really, what was the point? To me, it really gives an inaccuarate portrayal of your traffic count and who you are actually reaching.

I feel the same way about all these twitter people. If they have 50,000 followers, what connection can I possibly make with them?

I fear that I will spend most of my precious Twitter Time every day trying to get them tweet me back or @ reply me because they are the Popular Kids at school now. Suddenly I crave their attention and want them to notice me or something. But really, what value are they adding to my life? To my blog? To my company?

I’m not going to buy their product. I barely have enough money to fund my own projects at this moment. They don’t have blogs or anything. They are just constructed around a landing page with a sales pitch that I’m not interested in reading that stays static daily.

And I know they aren’t reading all my pieces that I spend so much time and effort researching and constructing. So, what’s the point? So that others can see that I’m Ms. Popularity with 50,000 followers too? What does that matter if 40,000 of those people aren’t actually reading what I say?

Like I said, maybe I’m not cut out to be a business women/entrepenuer (especially because I can never spell it right) because I just don’t get the point. I’m all for the networking and using social medias as tools. And I’m all for the promotion of my site. But at what cost?

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I may have to think about this a little bit more. Maybe I should finally take the time to sit down with Tweetdeck and learn how to divide up my Tweet Groups by category of people. I would love to follow these people back to thank them for following me and all. But I am afraid I’ll starts missing the tweets from my real followers. The ones that actually interact and talk with me on a daily or weekly basis and really add to my Social Media enjoyment.

The next time someone interviewing me asks “what kind of animal would you like to be” (which by the way, no one has ever asked me despite countless Job Getting Guides preparing me for it), I’m going to say “an ant.” I will forgo all impulses to say “my cat because she is pretty, fluffy, sleeps a lot and has the right to be a total bitch who bites and scratches people when she is angry” or “a unicorn!!!!!!”

First of all, the shock value alone of saying I want to be an ant should land me any job. I do not look like an ant kind of girl. But if that didn’t get me the job, my reasons why would.

Have you ever stopped and really watched ants work? I mean really, really watch. For thirty plus minutes.

Lucky for me, I have a major ant infestation in my house and I’ve had the opportunity to really watch these suckers for days on end.

Those little creatures have an insane work ethic. They remind me of that really old Disney song “The mail must go through” because no matter if it’s rain or snow, these ants must go through. Well, and DMB’s “Ants Marching” of course, but that’s besides the point.

Currently I have two major work zones to evaluate and critique:

1. Upstairs in my 12 x 12 office, they were trekking from one corner of the room to the completely opposite corner: climbing over door frames, behind couches and chairs and staying nearly invisible. If the few nosy bastards that wandered onto my desk hadn’t been so damn greedy, I never would have known they were here slowly taking over the upstairs.
2. Downstairs I’ve had quite a few trails but the one that is going now will forever be called Antz 2009: 3-D. It is going from the corner of my counters, up to the cabinets, over above the sink and then up under  the cabinets where I can no longer see them. I have been tempted to stand up and peek on the soffet but the idea of what I may find terrifies me.

I like to think of them as my personal ant farm, without the sand and glass walls.

Finally decided to bring out the amazing Terro liquid ant traps that kill the whole colony. (Yes I’m an evil monster because I want to kill the ants that have been slowly taking over my house, one room at a time, for the the last four years. If they would like to start contributing to the household budget or stop chilling in my sugar, cereal, pasta and pretzels, I would be more than happy to let them stay.)

That said, I’m not allowed to spray them dead until the liquid trap goes to work. It has given me a very long time to reflect on the work ethic of ants (and also their immortality since these bastards would not die!).

They were packing in quite a bit of poison and still showing up for work every single day for like two weeks straight. Never called in sick.  Never left early. And they even seemed happy with their jobs as they scurried about frantically, stopping only to briefly interact with a coworker before darting off.  (Disclaimer: This is all speculation. I, at no time, was able to identify, with 100%  certainty, that they were indeed, the same ants every day.)

However….

Ants are not the most efficient of creatures, are they? They don’t seem to grasp the “work smarter, not harder” philosphy. Remember the trail in my office? Instead of walking along the bottom of the door and cutting a good 10 minutes out of their travel time (since they seem to stop and wander around lost quite frequently), they insist on going up and over the entire doorway and back to the bottom to continue their trek.

I’ve even tried to help their efficiency. I noticed how long some of these ants were traveling, and since I’ve grown kinda fond of these little buggers, I really emphasized with their wary fatigue. So I moved the traps closer to their origin for them. Granted, I was trying to kill them faster but still…. These idiots totally bypassed that trap and continued on their 10minute journey across the house to the bait in the kitchen. Go figure.

Part of me would really love to sit down with the Queen Ant for a little chat on how to increase their efficency. You know, if it wasn’t in my own house and all. Maybe cut them a deal to take over my neighbor’s house since he lives in New Mexico 11 months out of the year….

So to answer the original question, “what animal would you be?”

“I’d like to be the Queen Ant because the work ethic of an ant closely resembles my own and as the leader, I would be able to drastically improve their efficiency to help our colony thrive.”

Oh, and because I could gorge myself on massive amounts of sugar and never get fat.

I’d love to take credit for this but I know I read a post about it months ago…somewhere….I just have no idea where. But the moment I read “who’s your blogging crush” two names instantly popped into my mind, and I wasn’t even 100% sure what the blog post was about at that point.

***updated: I found the original post. 1. It was from Chelsea Talks Smack who pretty much rocks! 2. It wasn’t months ago, it was ONE month ago. 3. She did not ask “who’s your blogging crush” anywhere, let alone in the headline. She asked “if you were going to date a blogger in 3-d, who would it be?” in the last line. So my whole first paragraph is a total lie. Gotta love creative writers, we spin our own realities!
Play Me! I just add a little sickly, sweetness something to the post!

It doesn’t matter if you are single, married, engaged, going steady, playing the field, gay, straight, bi, tri, or even human: Everyone has one.

You know who I’m talking about…

That special someone online that you flirt with.

The person who seduces you with their words.

The one who manages to make you feel like a high school kid with a crush again.

Your blogmance. (Blog + Romance, get it?)

Now don’t be haughty and immediately insist that you don’t have an online crush because you’ve married, engaged, going steady, playing the field, gay, straight, bi, tri, feline….and never openly flirted with a fellow blogger or tweeter.

Not all flirtations are overt  and full of coy, playful innuendos left in tweets and comments (but those are so much fun!)

Other times, they are clandestine affairs, so top secret that you are the only one that knows that it’s going on. The kind that develop when you read a blog and instantly your insides go to goo. But you’ve never actually communicated with them because you are too shy and too intoxicated by their words to actually connect, so you just stay lurking, er, reading for weeks, months….years.

Personally, I have three people I’m crushing on: a blogger, a tweeter, and one that spans all my social medias. It’s funny because I remember reading that original blogmance post and being too scared to confess my crushes because *blush* what if they found out? Oh the embarrassment!

Then I realized I’m not in high school anymore and haven’t been for over a decade so get over it. 1. My crushes probably already know about my infatuation since we are mutually “flirting” and 2. even if they don’t, chances are, they would be flattered.

The way I see it is most of the time these online flirtations are completely harmless and innocent, even though they can make me giggle like a little high school girl.

Am I wrong? Are blogmances and Twit-loves bad? Is it cheating or is it just an extension of “looking but not touching?” Married men can look at Maxim and be seduced by the hot chicks (that they’ll never meet…), can’t I be seduced by the good writers (that I’ll never meet….) online? Better yet, are there still people out there in denial and insist that they don’t have a secret blogmance?

My Not-so-Secret Blogmances are:

My Clandestine Affair with….The Blogger

David, author of The Rest is Still Unwritten.

Actually, I don’t know anyone that reads his blog who doesn’t have a massive crush on him. Straight males included. There is something so rawly sexy about his style of writing and the passion he puts into each word. Seeing a new post from him in my Google reader is like seeing the last extra-fudgy brownie and knowing it will be your guilty pleasure that you crawl into bed with and savor each crumb.

And just like plate of said brownies, I have to force myself not to gorge myself on all his writing in one sitting. He has over 900 posts to read and they are all so yummy, it’s hard to resist.

Think I’m kidding? I dare you to go read his blog and not fall for him. Or get a wicked craving for a decadent brownie that you know you can’t have.

I’m not 100% convinced that his picture is really him even though  I’ve seen others. No one that sensitive and passionate should be so masculine.

** update: David was just nominated for Gen Y Blogger (go vote for him & Quarter Life Lady NOW!) and I tweeted a congrats to him. And be still my heart, he Direct Messaged me back saying I’m the best, and I swear to you, my heart skipped a beat and I got super giddy when I saw it.

My High School Girl-crush on……the one that spans all my social medias

Derek from The Fix is In (I also call him Good Sports)

I’m not even sure how this started started. A lovely comment here, a flirty tweet there, a funny IM everywhere….  It’s not technically a blogmance since most of our talk takes place on Twitter. But it’s not a Twit-crush either since we talk on Facebook. He’s actually one of the few online people I’ve let into my secret Real Life World of Facebook. All I know is I adore this guy. Funny, sweet and has the cutest baby ever! Hands off ladies, this one is about to be married but he can still be my crush.

And finally…….

My overt flirtation with……the tweeter:

Dwight, aka @Shrewd_Boy

Once again, I have no idea how it all began. He doesn’t have a blog, website, IM, Facebook, Myspace, AOL…We only talk on Twitter. But that man can pack a whole lot of innuendo and fun into 140 characters! We’ve been talking for months (one month?) and it wasn’t until I wrote this piece that I realized, I didn’t even know his name! I know that he takes playing the formerly-geeky game of chess and makes it look damn good!

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And there ya have it. I just wanted to show some love to the guys that brighten my day….whether they know it or not!

So who’s your blog crush?

It seems like only a few months ago that David Cook and David Archuleta were standing on the stage and Ryan announced that the winner was “David–” and my DVR cut off and I had to go online to find out who actually won.

But nope, it’s been a full year and we are about to crown the new American Prince Idol. I’ve made my feelings abundantly clear all season long so it will no surprise when I say GO TEAM KRIS!

For those of you that don’t know, I think Adam is insanely talented but you couldn’t pay me to buy his album and listen to that screaming. I do believe he should win, I just don’t want him to! And Kris has really come so far over the season. The “Dark Horse” (as opposed to the “dark goth”) continuously shocked the audience and judges—and me—week after week!

The finale had three rounds: singer’s choice, producer Simon Fuller’s choice, and crap-ass Official Single by Kara DioGuardi.

Who was your favorite? Who do you want to win? Who do you think should win?

Round 1

Artist’s favorite performance of the season

Adam Lambert “Mad World” Tears for Fears

One of the only performances of Adam’s that I really liked all season and was actually able to listen to from start to finish. I was really glad that he picked this one to revisit because there was no screaming! Simple, powerful, haunting and really amazing.

Kris Allen “Ain’t No Sunshine” Bill Withers

This is word-for-word what I said the last time he performed this song

His “Ain’t No Sunshine” is on par with David Cook’s “Hello” from last season. Both songs were very, very well known, pretty much out-of-date, cliched and “owned” by only one artist–meaning anyone else that tried to sing the song, sounded like a karaoke version of Bill Withers and Lionel Ritchie. But not these guys. They completely stripped it down, re-did it in a modern way and totally blew the song out of the water. It was un-real.

And it beared repeating becaue it blew me away all over again.

The only person that summed up my thoughts about his performance even better than I could was  Kara DioGuaridi when she said: “If you can’t feel a Kris Allen performance and he doesn’t move you, then there is something wrong with you. You have a way of creating an intimate bond with everybody in the audience. You make us feel like you are singing to us”

Even better was Simon’s endorsement that yes, America got it right putting Kris in the finals.

Round 1 Winner (judges): KRIS!

Round 1 Winner (me): KRIS!!!!

Round 2:

Simon Fuller’s Pick

Adam Lambert “A Change is Going to Come” Sam Cooke

Why on earth Simon would pick this song is beyond me. IT is the most oversung song on Idol. I actually think Idol must get paid everytime someone sings that song because it is done at least once a season.

The judges were drooling all over themselves over his take and unique spin on the song.

I heard “Blah blah blah Scream Screech SCREAM SCREECH.”

Kris Allen “What’s Going On” Marvin Gaye

I love Kris because he doesn’t need fog, smoke, lights, high pitched screeches and guyliner to rock it out and be AMAZING!

The judges all thought it was too casual for a “night like this” I thought it was a huge risk to get up and just jam out. Let’s face it, he’s not Dave Matthews yet and it takes a lot of guts to get up in front of 7,000 live screaming people and come off chill and relaxed.

Round 2 Winner (judges): ADAM!

Round 2 Winner (me): Adam

but I don’t think that that he won it “a million times over” Kris like Simon said.

Round 3:

Their Will-Be Single

Adam Lambert “No Boundaries” co-written by Kara DioGuardi

I will officially boycott all radio stations for at least three years if Adam wins this competition because there is no way I can handle having to hear Adam’s bloodcurdling screechy version of that song every hour of every day.

From Mr. Cowell:

“You are one of the best, most original contestants we have ever had on the show. I genuinely believe we have found a world wide star in you.”

But he refused to critique his performance during Kara’s song. Because it freaking sucked.

Kris Allen’s “No Boundaries“ co-written by Kara DioGuardi

My tweet: “well crap. Kris’s voice just isn’t powerful enough for that arrangement of the song. I love him, but David Cook he is not.”

The problem was just what the judges said, the key was too high for him. I think if it was lowered just a bit he would have had an instant hit but I think he did the best that he could with a shitty song and the key.

That said, I would MUCH rather listen to that song every single hour of every day on the radio than Adam’s obnoxious version.

Round 3 Winner (judges): not revealed

instead the critiqued the season, not the performance, probably because they didn’t want to bash Kara’s crappy ass song.

Round 3 Winner (me): KRIS!!!!

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My Winner:

GO TEAM KRIS!

What do you think? Who do you want to win?

So this post kinda spiraled into a lot longer than I intended. I had read a quote a few weeks back and was trying to formulate my words for a while and then something horrible happened tonight that made me question everything, including my own life and worth. And I reread this quote again and remembered.

At the end of the story, the author asked, “have you had any decisions that altered your life?” Her story and thoughts are so spookily similar to mine that it really did make me think.

I hadn’t made the decision to start my own business. It was a hard decision to make. Letting go of a job that paid regular is just plain hard. There is nothing like a weekly pay check. Being at a job you do not like, knowing that check is coming Friday, is not living. That is security. To some people think a job is the different between a warm bed or a cold bench. You do not know what the future holds. Take a chance. Profit is better than a paycheck. A business can take you to your dream life. It may change your life.

Taking that risk gave me the reward of success. I feel free now. I can’t believe I stayed at that job so long. There are still days that I think about the others that was not willing to follow me out the door. They are still talking about not being appreciated. They are to scared to change.

Even though I didn’t reach millionaire status yet, I am proud of what I achieved. When I look back I can see growth. The garden I planted is now ready for harvest. Even though all along I kept hearing how I would never achieve my dream, how nobody would hire me, how I started wrong, etc., I made it happen and nobody can take that away from me. The rain did fall on my seeds. I learned how to channel those negative words into finding that one positive thought. It was my perseverance that changed my life forever.

My decision was exactly the same thing. I left my financial security for my mental and emotional security. Set up my own thing and while it’s a struggle and scary, it’s all mine and I’m loving every moment of it and love watching it grow! It’s been a very stressful few weeks but this quote really reminded me of why I am doing this. And how happy it makes me.

In three weeks I’ve not only learned more about sports than I ever thought I wanted to, I’ve learned how to:

• Build my own blog from scratch including content, pictures, videos, layouts, themes, colors, links, blogrolls, widgets, gadgets, html and so many other words I didn’t even know a month ago.

• Create my own client/fan base with returning readers! That’s no easy task! But through networking (something I’ve never done before) daily and searching forums and really putting myself out there to talk to other, I’ve managed to do it. Every day that number steadily grows higher! In less than three weeks I had over 1,000 unique visitors come to my site! And now, even on a day like Christmas when I couldn’t network, people still came to see me.
• Not only run one successful blog, but multiple ones! Peanut Butter & Jenny was supposed to just be my fun site but it really has had wonderful feedback and comments and I truly enjoy working on it and networking with other friends every day. Fantastic community to work in! And after the new year I will be revamping my webpage Jennifer L. Taglione.com to be more user friendly and it will be a more personal blog/recipe site. Also launching an eco-friendly site too.

• Monetize my blogs and get advertisers. This one still puzzles me a bit but its fascinating! Trying to learn what is right and how to make ads work, how to monitor their development and thinss like CPC, CPM and comission based and the differences.
• Run on 2-3 hours of sleep for days on end, and on the good night’s sleep nights: go to sleep at 5:30 a.m. and get up at 11 a.m.. Then work from 11 a.m. to 5 a.m. (Oh and somewhere in there found time to create two scrapbooks for presents for Christmas, shop for presents, decorate the house, do Christmas cards.)
• So essentially, create and run my own business. I had no idea that’s what I was signing up for when I started this but that’s what I’m doing. Successfully running my own company.

It may not be making a lot of money and I have never been more exhausted in my life. I think I am somehow negative money when you break down hours of work/how much I earned. But you know what, I’ve never been prouder of myself either. I’ve accomplished more in 3 weeks then some do in 3 months.

And somehow, that’s just not enough for some people. Some people look at me and think I’m a waste of life and I have no career and I’m useless. And it’s written all over their face when they look at me. Can’t even say talk to me because I’m barely worthy enough to speak to, and that’s evident on the face also.

Or when they do talk to me, they say horribly derogatory and snide comments to my face to show how superior they think they are and to back-handedly point out how meaningless they find me, my life, my career. Oh wait, nevermind. It was made crystal clear that I do not have one. Thanks.

On Christmas no less.

Actually on the first Christmas without my mother–my best friend, biggest fan & supporter and the woman who’s biggest dream was to see me 1. happy and 2. writing again. (And please don’t take this as throwing a pity card out there, it’s just a fact and something that made the moment that much worse. Because I am happy. And I’m writing. And Mom is not here to see that.)

I cried a lot after that moment. When I was made to feel less worthy than….I don’t know, a dungbeetle?

I talked to two really close friends, both of whom were appalled. They too, think it’s truly amazing all I’ve accomplished in such a short time. And so excited to have me writing again. And they were proud of me. And Charisse is a doctor so if she’s not a credible supporter (and also the very girly-anti-sports girl this site is designed for) I don’t know who is!

I have friends that come every single day and read my stories including one amazing women, a former co-worker of mine at a local retailer. D.B. self-proclaims that she is computer illiterate and if she deleted my email to her with the link, she would never find the page again. She doesn’t care about the sports writing. She comes to support me. And calls to tell me how much she loves it and how proud she is of me.

And I really hate that one person’s small-mindedness and truly deplorable action can taint all of that for me. Because criticisms always sit like a lead balloon inside me. The really sad part is there is nothing that can possibly make it better.

Actually, you know what. There is one thing.

F&ck you.

It all began as this little innocent idea in my chaotic mind on a sleep-deprived day. Isnt’ that how they all begin? Actually, they all begin:

Once upon a time….
there was a Pretty, Pretty Princess known throughout many kingdoms for her Great Ideas ~ as Editor Princess for the local newspaper, and then as a Visual Princess for the local clothier. But it had been ages since the Princess’s last Great Idea, and she was growing scared.

Then, late, late at night in Princess’s pink-bubble filled mind, clouded with lack of sleep, a little idea began to form. The Princess remembered her knack for writing about sports! Or at least she LOLed when she read her words. She began to wonder if others would laugh as well.

As the night wore on, the idea continued to evolve. By first light of morning she was envisioning herself as a Princess of Sports for Stilettos: a sports writer with a tiara (and fabulous shoes) ready to help the masses of other stilettos that were tired of being bored by sports!

The Princess was amused with her own daydreaming fantasy and kiddingly started telling people her idea, hoping to make others laugh. And laugh the others did, however, not in jest but in merriment. What a wonderful idea, they cried!

So the little idea began to grow and grow, nurtured by the imagination and vision of the Princess, until it become an all-consuming entity in the Princess’s life. Not a moment went by that the Princess wasn’t scribbling ideas on every scrap of paper, endlessly researching facts and trivia or incessentaly tweaking the website till it met her standards.

The Princess toiled day and night to help the little idea, hoping that one day, the little idea from the pink bubble world, would grow into something big that everyone would love….
and they would live, happily ever after